Oh hi there. im sorry i sort of trouble you guys all to relink me all the time-i will really try my best to stick with this a.l.a.p :]]
&im sorry if your links are incorrect-i will make some changes a.s.a.p ok lrve(s)? :]

anyyyywayyyyys!i went for training just now,oh i just lrve Friday's trainings alot!i hated tuesday' one. not that i have two differnt coach but always,on tuesdays time flies sooo slowwww.
&trainings no fun cause tuesdays are mre to training stamina and stuffs.Fridayy's trainings are aweeeesome!always end with game [:
but shit,ive got no mre excuse to come up with fr ths cming tuesday's training curze this tuesday will be the LAST TRAINING! for this holiday period.
oh weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
and im still lazy to clean up my boots!hahaha.
ehyk,mind you not just me kayy yg tak cuci booot,ramai tau!HAHA

after training,went to Bedok Library w Mahirah and Rahimah.
dangs it,we've got really itchy hands menszxzxz.we keep on picking up th books and im so confused on which to choose.
ended up i only borrow one or wont be able to concentrate on other books if i were to borrow mre than one.
yeah,whatever :]

i frigging miss MR CRUSH! alot :((((((
i wanna move to pasir rissss uhh.can?!haha.

Hey,im sorry about yesterday.i know,i know i screw everything up.im very sorry ok?
maybe you're really dont have any feelings fr me and i'm cool with it (i hope) but we are still bestfrnds rrright?im sorry bestf

i wonder who's Jason Mraz and Colbie referring to when they sang
"lucky im in lrve w my bestfrnd"
honestly,i never been lucky at all.esp when i fall in lrve with my bestf.haha.

from muttons to midnite-
"i have a crush on my bestfrnd"
"i think its quite sad because when your bestf sddenly say "ehh i have a major crush on that girl"
what will you feel?

Goodbye [:

im sorry but right now i feel like shouting at everyone who's in a rlationship.
haha,screw me screw me.
im sorry :((((

i realised one thing about me now.
my total weakness is that,i cant handle rejections that well.i mean at all.
im fear of it.
fucking fear of it.
really,i swear.
help me.
save me.
screw you.
love me,will you?
:'(

Haha!Feeefit,due to idk whatelse to do mood so i thnk i shall blog today instead of tmr(:

went out w my closest primary sch frends just now,Aqilah,Nazie,Ahmad and Helmi.
i was the earlybird just now,as per norm -.-
waited fr aqilah and went to Food Culture to eat,i was damn hungry i swear i can finish a whole chicken cutlet set plus a bowlof spaghetti!haha,aqilah only ate a quarter of the spaghetti,i finished almost the other 2 quarter anoter quarte Nazie ate [:
(wtf,i just think my english sucks today-like superuspersucks!hah!)

then my two favourite boys came!hahaa.we were obviously very,extremelyy fickle minded.
at first wanted to go Kallang den Marina den Parkway den East Coast!
ended up went to Orchard insteaaaad!
damn it,those dresses at Cotton On and Forever 21 are on sale right now.
fcuking shitttt siaaaa.all two for 20 buckszxzxz!!!!!
grr,its okayy-i will get it SOOON!!!i promise.
haah,i really lve that black and blue dress ^^
kkkkkk enufffffxz.
went out from Wisma and went to eat Fried Mars Bars :D
went to FarEast and eat again!hahaa,at Estelle.
damns it,i didnt finished my goood food but lucky someone managed to finish it,at least-its not wasting my fugging 5bucks!
&i lve thehappy soda!!hah.

anddddd i saw Nizam and Azam -.-
haha!at first i didnt want to say hi to them but Nizam looked at me like he knows me!
hahaa,den i was like
"kenal eh?"
"haha!kenal ahh abey!"
but sadly,Azam that irritating freak didnt!hahah.
i must explain some more how i know him and stuffs -.ooo

kkkkkk.after thaaat.umm go where eh
wait,im thinking.
ohh!went back to tampines off to SAFRA for bowling -.-
i was at the 3rd position when suddenly ahmad is ahead of meee
cizzzzz betols!
so nothing new,ended up im in the last position -.-
tuik!

and den,we went home.
oh!in 168,i saw my K1 form teacher Mdm Ros!
she recognisedmeeee!hahaha.
she said im still chubby and she remembered my curly hair the most!
hahaha.
when i was 4yrs old,my hair like one fugging curlybastard negro
hahaha.or should i say AFROOO,like alleycats!
haha,nola no laa!

kkkkkkkk byeee
pictures?some otha time laaa!
:DDDD

slept late yesterday night but thanks to bestf who called me at 8plus ehyy in the morning today!
cant go back to sleep,went to bath ate breakfast and whatelse,rotting at home w laptop being the companion.Lol.

again,thanks to bestf who talks ALOT,ALOTTTT about Demi Lovato,JB and Selena Gomez.
until im interested to watch all their videos.for the past 4 hours ive been watching a total of what,70plus demi&selena's videos.yeappppppp.
and i watched Another Cinderella Story also HSM3.
aha!
i miss zac efron,LOLLLLL.

kay,this is nt a proper post,just to break myself frm youtube-ing.
hehh.will update if i want to.
or if there are any updates-.-

ciaooooo

so there's this cute guy just now working as kendarat also-he really stands out from the other guys(:unfortunately,today Mr M is not thereeee:( chinese guy also not thereee:(
all of them are new to me,duh,i'm neww -.-

the thing that crack me up and made imah LOL was when that cute guy trip and fell and tried very hard to mantain cool,but aw!hahaha.its cute though.
"jatoh eh?"
"tak pernah nampak orang jatoh per?"
"haha.lek uh,beh marah?"
walks away.hahah!okay,i swear he's like frigging cute acting so dumb!
:DDD

another incident that made RAHIMAH LAUGH NONSTOP LOOKING A MY FACE was-
there's this another guy,who look superb matured like twenty plus i think-
we were about to finish work and changing clothes,when he's outsid the toilet w his friends.
while walking,he suddenly walked beside me and asked
"name saper?"
"syafiqah"
"so you still studyin isit?"
"umm yeahh"
he fiddles with his phone-.-
too shy to ask my number because his friends didnt want to ask for him!hahaha.
i just continue walking and blablabla.

somtimes i let opportunity slips that easily.even when he's cute,fair skin those pretty boys type-
or even when he's a typical mat rep or just a normal guy-
i seriously have a hard time giving my numbers to strangers.
heh.but great moments thou.
*winks*

okay,enough about work.just hope i'll bump to them some other time.
:D
ciao

my bestf now is no longer chicken,but pooh bear!
haha.
imyF:(

As shocking as it sounds,i really had fun during training just nw (insert a shocking expression HAHA.whatevr kay,i knw it may not sound as shocking as zxzxz.
but seriously,i am being like th most energetic one thanks fo the mrning breakfast w bbyg!
i wonder what that prata man put inside the prata i ate made me feel superb energetic.
bahaha,okay crap-i know.shhessh :\

HAKIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
bloody moroniczxzxz,during training today,th soccer boys mostly sec one,i mean all of the sec ones were cheering ONE NAME out loud esp when they saw me and they will start monkey-ing around shouting _______'s name and clap around -.-
thank you vvvv much eh hakim!just wait,i will take revenge.will
(insert an evil look)

thanks to mahirah and amalina fr making me cry ystd :'(
hah!they recommended me some movies to watch and i cried watching it.
anyways,thnks v much fr sharing ayyezxz :D

and today,all thanks to mahirah again fr making me cry!haha.
after training went to mahirah's place to watch another malay movie SEPI
its a great,sweet lovestory (::
i laughed and cried at the same time.but really,that physco girl really freaks me out!!
what if i see someone like her one day ehy?
nyehh :P

Yesterday
made some pancakes w lil brother.hah,that was so totally unplanned.was watching bee movie and suddenly th honey reminds me of pancake so yeah.
th pancake turns out to be yummeyh.hahaha!not self-praising here okay,but its true ya'know!
:DD
add some cheese to some of the pancake and it taste so heavenly.hahaha,okayokay i know,exaggerated much.
shut up if i got that word spelled wrongly!

(back to today)
oh talked about english,saw mrs goh just now at the soccer field during training!!!
(insert a wide grin )
she asked about life and we talked about this particular friend of mine.yeah he changed.
dudeeeeeeee,i just hpe you'll be back to normal.
like sec one times.i mean really,w/o that coloured hair you still look hot laa dengs!
haha,but too bad _____ hotter :D
Ookok,cut it out-but reallyyyy i want the old,funny,not that geeky you back!!
:\
saw DO too.nyahhahaha.

im very sorry about yesterday
:\
ilyy laaaa bestf.

I am now currently missing alot of my friends esp,Imah,Mahirah,LINAA! and of course my dearest classmates 2E1 :(
i really miss the MUAR TRIP,th best trip ever (for me laa) although most of thm,i will still see nxt year but my top bitches,AAA,VVV,DDD not in me class anymoreeeeee.
fags,sometimes you dont appreciate that someone's existance until he/she are gone.
Trrrrrue :\

so yesterday had dinner at airport mac'donalds.accompanied my sis and her bf there for idk what reason.sis wanted to walk around the terminal 3 and stuffzxz. oh btw,tried the chocolate mc'flury or whatever you spell it-well,unfortunately it doesnt taste as heavenly as i thought :[
ate only like a quarter of it and threw it away.gosh,am i nuts or whats?!never wasted any chocolateszxz stuffs beforeeeee:(
i guess im no in th mood for chocolates,yesterday

otw home imah texted me.haha,mahirah-i think you will know what she talked about-
of course HANDPHONES.hahaha,mahirah already get a new phone,and imah will get one soon.
planning to get the same phone as mahirah and the three of us will use th same model but diff colour but still not sure yyet.i still have to seeek permisson from my mum and settle my current bill MYSELF.cheesezx.after talking about phones,rahimah went to shit about camp rock and stuffs.haha,whtever imah.and she was like
"i love joe's ass and he's still a virgin-that makes me more into him"
LOLLLL :DDD

when you hung up yesterday,it felt so different.please tell me im not in love w you cause that just make the whole situation more chaos :'(

Labels: because i have faith in you

Oh gosh,my jaws hurt frigging much all due to my saggy ass cuzzin AMAAAAA!hahahhaa
:DD
both of us were bored and decided to vomit craps,all we crapped about was ASSS.
she said i injected botox to my ASSS.hahaha!
eeee!ama's ass so saggyyyyy den meltingg den all the shitzxzx mix and melts!
hahahaha.
kay ama no offence
ILYVM cuzzie!
*imissssyou laaaa :)

Ha.Ha.Ha.
so much of if training sucks im gg home w/o informing coach.nope,i didnt go for my training just now. -.-
and coincidentally,my two bbyg were absent too.Greaaat,nanti kene soal sape mau jawab?
hahah!

went to aunt's place today,babysit as per norm and mum keep on asking when will i go for jobhunting again.bahah,not tht im lazy but i dont wanna waste my ez-link fare.tallk about money,my 20 bucks went missing again,fucking shit laaa.I dont know who took it.
it has to be a HUMAN.because when i put my purse on the table,the next day my money went missing but when i hide it inside my wadrobe,the money is there because the person didnt knew where i put it.Fuckers shit.if only i knew who took it.
sister told me that her 60bucks were missing too the previous days.
and mind you,this is the THIRD time my money gonecase.
pissed,very pissed.stupid sia,if you really need the money can you just ask instead of stealing?
faggots.

kayy, desperatel need money now.
cheeeeese.

i dont know how to begin this entry,ive typed dozen of words before this,but nothing sounds right.i seriously feel like a total loser but idk why.fucking shit,i feel like meeting bestf(s) nowww.
ive got training tmr and fuck shit,if training goinna sucks hardcore tmr,im gg home straight w/o informing coach.another fucking shit about me is that i cant seem to make up my mind.
oh great,another fucking thing my friend,helmi cant stop asking about when to meet babes and jengs,of course i miss you all but seriously ive got no time to meet and i dont want to waste my fucking money yet.
fuck you humans.

Reading your blog makes me feel like a total loser and now i am speechless.

yeappp,imma girl i know exactly how a girl will feels being ill treated by their lve ones.
but listening to his problem yesterday i sort of think how self centerd a girl can be at times,esp in bg rlationship-easily,girls and her gfs will blame the guy over a break up but have we ever try to fit in their shoes?haha,if you girls think imma noob to actually side the guys then im sorry but really,after hearing his stories and actually think,like think logically im sure everything happened for a reason.yeah,i may say that girls are self centered now and maybe if i got busted by guys then,you girls think serve me right,right?Heh.
ive got no comments for now,but sometimes i wish that girls can be aware of that guys are mre sensitive than us.i know they may be a total pain in the ass,in the head in the whtever else but
dont you think they also need some explanations to be made?

yeah fuck me for typing all these.
but really,try being a guy-its not as easy as you think.
ciao

Haha,what a shocking piece of thang when i actually dreamed of him. Okay-maybe its not that really shocking at all because the past few days ive been talking about him w bestf on the phone.Gotta blame bestf for babbling shits about me and him getting together and stuffs.I know bestf jealoussssssssssss.Ha.ha,kidding :D
tapi awak cakap awak jealous sikit kans?

so we were in an unknown shopping mall,when i told bestf he trie guessing all those random malls but seriously i did not recognise that shopping mall i dreamt of.hah.its not just the two of us but i cant rmbr who else were there.we were walking and laughing and crapping like the time when me and the soccer boys went to find our way to mustaffa.hah.but i remembered clearly that in that dream both of us were acting weirdly.very,very,weird.
i dont wish to elaborate more but i just find him sweet in my dream,a kiss on the cheek was smtg stupid to dream of but-haha.

deep down i know,my feelings for him is nothing mre than a love towards a brother (:
thnks for being there fr me everytime monyet.
ilysm.
♥

Labels: and i whisper ily.

its 11forrrteyysexx now.
so it means 14 mre mins to midnight,right?even when i'm wrong i dont want you to correct me kiddos!
I wanna change,change negatively.im sick and tires of being so obedient till no one will want to listen to what you wanna say anymre,so sick of following your rules and playing your game,so sick of hearing your voice everytime and of course-
IM GETTING EVEN MORE SICKKK SEEING YOUR FUCKING FACE

went to my sister's alumni band members bbq just now.
ate good food,met good people and laugh alot.all of them were friendly but sadly i'm not that okay just now-even now.

i desperately need money right nw.mum's running outta money and i can see she's suffering inside.
sometimes im mad at myself for being so self centered but honestly i'm fucking sick to rot at home anymre,if its not for my mum,i wont be staying here anymre
fuck woodlands.haha.

i only got 60 bucks now and im saving up to buy my schoolbag fr next yr.
it cost 89.90 round up 90 bucks laa.
but ive made up my mind to give them all to my mum.she needs it mre than i do and thats the least that i can offer to help.

God,give me some strength to continue living.

{edited @elevenfifteyyeight}
fuck im crying now for no shit reason.seriously i just miss my old family-
just me,abg,ayah and ibu.
i miss them alot.i miss my family so much,now i cant even face that fucking face of my stepdad.
seriously i dont know how long mre can i tolerate w him.
ibu,tolong laaa-adik dah tak tahan lagi.
i agree because i thought mum will be happilly married to him and idk if she is right now even when she is,but i'm not

i want my old family back pls.
no,its not gg happen...

And yes,finally i am updating (:
i am certainly not busy at all but just plain lazy to update blog and even friendster.

kay,yesterday was fun!very fun(: all thanks to Annah,Qeem,Shiddiq,Shafiy,Aidil,Yousuf,Saiful,Zul:D
had training in the morning,at first i was fucked up with coach for pricking on me always,ALWAYS.
but during the game,it was so much fun and of course my team won.haha!
what teaaaaaaaaaaaam? "eleven thirty" we named ourselves w that lame name because we cant wait fr training to end which is at 11:30 (supposingly) instead we ended training yesterday around 12plus and annah gave me a total of approximately seven missed calls!Gee :]
After training proceed to Annah's place,fan myself out,and washed up.Get ready and gosh,am i surprised or wht i took almost an hour to get dressed when i just took five minutes to wear my headscarf usually.
oh yesterday i never pakai laaa,go tengok bolaaa marh.Hah -.o"

went out from her place and sexcitedly saw dhl under her block.hahhhhhhh.
*melts* :DD
went to whitesands for my belaaaated birthday treat from annah!hah,tyvm bbygirl (:
waited for Qeem and trained to Lavender,walked to Jalan Besar stadium andsaw the soccer boys and stuffssssssssssssssssssssssss.
and again,saw crush
:D
big thanks to Uweis,Shafiy and Hakim for telling the whole soccer boys about my crush
thanks alot! -.-
well,of course he knew about it long time ago so yeah,who cares?
-.-

Huzai got irritated by me and i got irritated by him too -.- gee,fair laa gituk PENDEK!
:DDDD
walked and walked and sweaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat following the boys to find foodcourt to eat
ended up ate at MC Donalds,mintak kene sepak saaakkk.
and i loved yesterday because after so long nt talking to shafiy i got to talked to him.
ahha,bloodytoot,he said i cant go for a date because i ate with food crumbs all over.whatever fiy.
((:

i gotta go,sorry.aha,you guys read annah's blog laa,she give you all the details(insignificant one)
HAHA.JOKING :D
kay children takecare.

yesterday something happened.

Goshhh,yesterday was exremely tiring !
i cried uh eh while working,deepshitbtol! haha,but i ENJOY looking,aha!
kan mahirah?lol.
that blood hot guy is drop deadhotstuff.hahaa!
ive gotta crush on tis guy.
his name begins w letter
M(:

Yesterday and today morning were fucking horrible shit disasterous thang.

i dont think you deserve to be respected by me or them anymore.all you did for the past few months was just nag,nag and nag. i seriously hate you,HATE not dislike. HATE you for making my life so miserable. Gosh,its just not ME who's mad and hating you,you can ask your kids,YOUR OWN KIDS how they felt towards your fucking shit attitude.
why must you "talk" to us only when you want to scold and dig out our misbehaves and such.
even for that pathetic water heater issue,you are making a big fuck about it.
fuck you please be a real adult,be a man that your kids can go on saying to their friends,
"that my father." how bad my real father was he's never as bad as you.
mind you,he never made my life miserable,never.He knows if he got problems with my mum,thats totally THEIR buisness.
Im sorry mum,i just dont know why you marry that fucking man.
to be honest mum,i see you happier with ayah than this fucking man.
im sorry mum but thats how felt.
because of him my day always end with a frown and because of him i cant stand to get out from this place called HOME. fuck shit laa,if only i can work and earn damn lot money i wont let my mum marry you fucking man,serious shit.
i will just support my mum and i have a brother whom can support both of us mind you.
but i want to make my mum happy,thats what i thought for the future but it turns out.
FUCKING DEEP SHIT i am in right now.
if your hobby is seriously just pricking on your children,i rather live far away than to live in the same roof as you.ive got no more patience seriously.
YOU CAN JUST FUCK OFF FROM MY LIFE.

Dear readers,
im truly sorry if you think im one of the ungrateful and fucking rude child.
you dont know how it feels to have a stepfather that is unreasonable.you dont know what is lie to cry almost everday thinking about how great your life USED to be.
you dont know anything...

Went to meet Shiddiq,Qeem,Yousuf and Zul at penin.followed them around and being the only girl,most of the time i was talking to myself.bahah :]
they are such a joker and thank you for making me smile and laugh :DDD
shiddiq's laughter is truly one of those 'takleh angkat' laughter.hahaa!
cant be mantained at all.when he laughed at mc donalds,everyone looking at him
-.o
&they obviously cant stop the 'TAAAAIKK' thingy thang!hahaa.
but seriously,thank you guys (:
lvelvelve
♥

because love still exist.

Labels: kindly leave and please dont ever come back

1) Who is your bestest guy friend? Name one only.
- Muhd Asshiddiq Bin Wahid aka AYAM :D

2) If someone were to tell you they like you right now, would you care?
- i think so (?)

3) Do you have any enemies?
- Vanessa Hudgens. wow?

4) Who do you want to kiss right now?
- Zac Efron.

5) Do you have a best friend?
- yeah duh.

6) Do you smoke?
- nopeeey.

7) Do you remember what you were like a year ago?
- uh huh.ugly hearted snobbish fake bitch :]

8) Who was the last person you cried in front of?
- no one . cried in front of the laptop

9) Can you vote next election?
- not yettt

10) What are you listening to?
-teevee

11) When will your next kiss be?
-soon kay soon !

12) Who do you love right now?
- Zacky baby :]

13) Who was the last person to call you beautiful/gorgeous?
-wen siew i think?haha.

14) Ever run away from home?
- i fhink so.haha.

15) Where did your last hug take place?
-tampinesssss!

16) Do you date smart people?
- i would love to

17) Where were you at 2:02 this morning?
- in my room,checking my messages

18) Last place you took a plane to?
- neberr lerr ):

19)How do you feel about the person who texted you last?
-he's my bestfriend and i loveeee him (:

20) Do you use smiley faces on the computer a lot?
- :D:D:]=D=(=0

21) Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
- yeaaahhhhhh.during softball match fever.in the bus.hah!

22) Who did you last go out to eat with?
-rahimah and mahirah

23) Last call from?
-qeem bestie (:

24) Have you ever fall for him/her?
-who?the person who last called me?haha.

25) When is the last time you took a nap?
- yesteday night.

26) Do you talk about your feelings or hide them?
-some things are better off unsaid/

27) Do you wear glasses?
- yes,potek. :8

28) What are you looking forward to in the next month?
- working !!!

29) What are you thinking about?
- when will he give me a calllllllllll.

busy searching for skins and thanks mahirah for the great help.
however,due to *malas nak layan blog template mood* = *lazy to entertain the blog template mood*,
i changed my mind and let things stay.
and unfortunately for those who lazy to re-link ppl ( like me ) gotta re-link me soon.
i thought of changing my URL soon and losers,dont you ever comment on my URL .
even if you think you've seen it somewhere else why do you bother so much ?!
&i read GOOD books which give me GOOD words not that i totally rip the title of the book or smtg for my blog URL.
dont talk about originality here in my blog because i know deep down,you yourself might have somehow modify ppl's stuffs.
bahahah.exaggerated much about URL?
:D


TRAINING WAS A FUCCCCCKING BULLSHIT JUST NOW,I SWEAR TO THE CORE OF THE EARTH.
at times like this,i wanna type FUCK LIKE THIS : FARRRRRRRRRRRRRK.
REALLY REALLY MAKE SURE YOU INSERT THE RRRRRRR SOUND.
LIKE FAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRKING BULLSHIT.
hahaha,sorrry but serious.
everyone was pissed w C.
irrrrrittating nak mampos laa itu pompan!
nenek dier uh "two hands two hands" run for the ball " wrong jump "
hahahahaha.
gi mamp.


but hey,i swear bowling outing w bbygirls were superb funtabuloustic!
thank you v much mahirah and rahimah.
i love you gggrrrls super much,and thanks for the brithday treats/gifts!
mwahmwah.
hahaa
LVE.

&finally,fourteen years old laa syaaff!hahaha

Happy Birrrthday to Me,to Shasha and to Michelle and to other second novemberretes!
gee,thank you for thebirthday wishes and special thanks to Diyana and Diana for spending some beautiful time with me.
Diyana,its a great time having to overnight at your housee.i love you truckloads laaa dear :]

ASSHIDDIQ AND HAQEEM!
omg you guys.seriously thank you very much,extremely thank you!!
im honoured,haha,seriously honoured.
thank you for coming over to tampines just to pass me th birthday present,and i frigging love them.
gee,how sweet can you guys be eh?!
hahaa,and qeem,thank you for being the sweeeetest guyfriend ever,shiddiq pn!hahaha!
i cried laaa dgr krg ckp
"you are our no.1 bestest bestest girlfriend besides our girlfriend"
lol!hahaa,okay guys,may your rlationships last long till eternity.ceh ceh!
hahaa, will seriously treasure our friendship.
I love you guys ALOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT:]
thank you once again.

tinaaaaa,aku tak kejer,dah dapat tapi mak aku tak kasi sebab jauh.
hee.
kay tkcare:D